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در این کتاب یاد خواهیم گرفت که فقط به مواردی که واقعا لازم است اهمیت بدهیم و بی خیال موراد بی اهمیت و غیر ضروری شویم. امروزه یک طرز فکر به شکل وحشتناکی جامعه را آلوده کرده است و این تفکر نادیده گرفتن تلاش‌ها و فقط پاداش دادن به مدال طلا است. همه نمی‌توانندفوق‌العاده باشند، برنده و بازنده در جامعه وجود دارد، هرچند بعضی از آنها منصفانه نیست و گناه شما هم نیست.
معرفی و دانلود کتاب The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
نسخه انگلیسی کتاب هنر ظریف بی خیالی
رویکردی متفاوت برای یک زندگی خوب
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
نویسنده:
مارک منسون Mark Manson
درباره کتاب The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck :
در این کتاب یاد خواهیم گرفت که فقط به مواردی که واقعا لازم است اهمیت بدهیم و بی خیال موراد بی اهمیت و غیر ضروری شویم. امروزه یک طرز فکر به شکل وحشتناکی جامعه را آلوده کرده است و این تفکر نادیده گرفتن تلاش‌ها و فقط پاداش دادن به مدال طلا است. همه نمی‌توانندفوق‌العاده باشند، برنده و بازنده در جامعه وجود دارد، هرچند بعضی از آنها منصفانه نیست و گناه شما هم نیست.
معرفی کتاب های جدید در پیج اینستاگرام بیبلیوفایل
جملاتی از ترجمه فارسی کتاب The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck:
کلید زندگی خوب، این نیست که به چیزهای بیشتر و بیشتری اهمیت بدهید؛ بلکه باید به چیزهای کمتری اهمیت بدهید، و تنها چیزهایی را مد نظر قرار دهید که حقیقی، فوری و مهم هستند.
… یک واقعیت پنهان در زندگی هست؛ این‌که چیزی به نام بی‌خیالی وجود ندارد. شما باید به چیزی اهمیت بدهید. توجه به چیزهای مختلف و اهمیت دادن به مسائل، بخشی از جسم و بیولوژیِ ماست.
مسئله این است که به چه چیزهایی اهمیت بدهیم، و چگونه به چیزهایی که هیچ اهمیتی ندارند، اهمیت ندهیم.
… پختگی، زمانی رخ می‌دهد که فرد می‌آموزد تنها به چیزهایی اهمیت بدهد که ارزشمند هستند.
پرسش جالب‌ِ توجه‌تر که مردم هیچ‌وقت از خود نمی‌پرسند، این است که «چه دردهایی در زندگی خود می‌خواهید؟ و حاضرید برای چه چیزی زحمت بکشید؟»
برای مثال، بیشتر افراد می‌خواهند که ارتقای شغلی پیدا کنند و درآمد زیادی داشته باشند؛ اما هیچ‌کس نمی‌خواهد شصت ساعت کار در هفته، رفت‌و‌آمد در فاصله‌ی زیاد بین خانه و اداره، کاغذبازی‌های بیهوده، و ساختار طبقاتی استبدادی شرکت را تحمل کند…
همه می‌خواهند روابط عالی داشته باشند؛ اما همه حاضر نیستند مکالمات دشوار، سکوت ناخوشایند، احساسات جریحه‌دارشده و نقش بازی‌کردن‌های احساسی را تحمل کنند.
فرهنگ کنونی به ما می‌گوید که من خودم باعثِ شکستِ خودم شده‌ام.
من، بی‌استقامت یا بازنده هستم، و چیزهایی را که لازمه‌ی این کار بوده نداشته و رویاهای خود را کنار گذاشته‌ام، و شاید اجازه داده‌ام که فشارهای اجتماع بر من غلبه کنند.
اما واقعیت، بسیار کسل‌کننده‌تر از همه‌ی این‌هاست. واقعیت این است که من فکر می‌کردم چیزی را می‌خواهم؛ اما معلوم شد که در واقع آن را نمی‌خواستم؛ همین.
من پاداش‌های این کار را می‌خواستم، نه نبردهای آن را. نتایج را می‌خواستم، نه روند رسیدن به آنها را. من عاشق جنگ نبودم؛ عاشق پیروزی بودم. و زندگی، این‌گونه پیش نمی‌رود.
تقصیر مربوط به زمان گذشته است، و مسئولیت، مربوط به اکنون است؛
تقصیر، ناشی از انتخاب‌هایی است که قبلاً شده، و مسئولیت، نتیجه‌ی انتخاب‌هایی است که شما در حال حاضر در هر لحظه از روز می‌کنید.
شما انتخاب کرده‌اید که این متن را بخوانید.
شما انتخاب می‌کنید که به این مفاهیم فکر کنید.
شما انتخاب می‌کنید که این مفاهیم را بپذیرید یا آنها را رد کنید.
شاید تقصیر من باشد که شما فکر می‌کنید ایده‌های من بی‌ارزش هستند؛ اما شما مسئول نتیجه‌گیری‌های خود هستید.
تقصیر شما نیست که من این جمله را نوشته‌ام؛ اما هنوز هم شما در تصمیم‌گیری برای خواندن آن مسئول هستید.
بین مقصر دانستن کسی برای وضعیت شما، و مسئولیت واقعی آن فرد برای وضعیت شما، تفاوت وجود دارد.
هیچ‌کس مسئول وضعیت شما نیست مگر خودتان.
شاید بتوان بسیاری از افراد را برای ناراحتی شما سرزنش کرد؛ اما هیچ‌کس مسئول ناراحت بودن شما نیست غیر از خودتان.
علت این موضوع این است که شما همیشه انتخاب می‌کنید که مسائل را چگونه ببینید، چه واکنشی در برابر آنها نشان دهید و چه ارزشی برای هر چیز در نظر بگیرید.
این کتاب به فارسی با اسم های دیگری از قبیل “هنر ظریف رهایی از دغدغه ها” “هنر ظریف به هیچت نبودن” “همه چیز به فنا رفته ” چاپ شده است.
توضیحات کتاب The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck نوشته Mark Manson:
#۱ New York Times Bestseller
Over ۶ million copies sold
In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be “positive” all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.
For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. “F**k positivity,” Mark Manson says. “Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it.” In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.
Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—”not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault.” Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.
There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.
بخش هایی نسخه انگلیسی کتاب هنر ظریف بی خیالی :
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Quotes
“Who you are is defined by what you’re willing to struggle for.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“You and everyone you know are going to be dead soon. And in the short amount of time between here and there, you have a limited amount of fucks to give. Very few, in fact. And if you go around giving a fuck about everything and everyone without conscious thought or choice—well, then you’re going to get fucked.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience. Any attempt to escape the negative, to avoid it or quash it or silence it, only backfires. The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering. The avoidance of struggle is a struggle. The denial of failure is a failure. Hiding what is shameful is itself a form of shame.
Pain is an inextricable thread in the fabric of life, and to tear it out is not only impossible, but destructive: attempting to tear it out unravels everything else with it. To try to avoid pain is to give too many fucks about pain. In contrast, if you’re able to not give a fuck about the pain, you become unstoppable.” ~~~~ Mark Manson”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience. (p.9)”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“Unhealthy love is based on two people trying to escape their problems through their emotions for each other—in other words, they’re using each other as an escape. Healthy love is based on two people acknowledging and addressing their own problems with each other’s support.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“Life is essentially an endless series of problems. The solution to one problem is merely the creation of another.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“To be happy we need something to solve. Happiness is therefore a form of action;”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“This is the most simple and basic component of life: our struggles determine our successes.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“Don’t just sit there. Do something. The answers will follow.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“Our crisis is no longer material; it’s existential, it’s spiritual. We have so much fucking stuff and so many opportunities that we don’t even know what to give a fuck about anymore.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“Maturity is what happens when one learns to only give a fuck about what’s truly fuckworthy. As”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“In my life, I have given a fuck about many people and many things. I have also not given a fuck about many people and many things. And like the road not taken, it was the fucks not given that made all the difference.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“Travel is a fantastic self-development tool, because it extricates you from the values of your culture and shows you that another society can live with entirely different values and still function and not hate themselves. This exposure to different cultural values and metrics then forces you to reexamine what seems obvious in your own life and to consider that perhaps it’s not necessarily the best way to live.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“There is a simple realization from which all personal improvement and growth emerges. This is the realization that we, individually, are responsible for everything in our lives, no matter the external circumstances. We don’t always control what happens to us. But we always control how we interpret what happens to us, as well as how we respond. Whether we consciously recognize it or not, we are always responsible for our experiences. It’s impossible not to be. Choosing to not consciously interpret events in our lives is still an interpretation of the events of our lives. Choosing”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“We suffer for the simple reason that suffering is biologically useful. It is nature’s preferred agent for inspiring change. We have evolved to always live with a certain degree of dissatisfaction and insecurity, because it’s the mildly dissatisfied and insecure creature that’s going to do the most work to innovate and survive.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“Being open with your insecurities paradoxically makes you more confident and charismatic around others. The pain of honest confrontation is what generates the greatest trust and respect in your relationships. Suffering through your fears and anxieties is what allows you to build courage and perseverance. Seriously,”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“If you want to change how you see your problems, you have to change what you value and/or how you measure failure/success.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“My recommendation: don’t be special; don’t be unique. Redefine your metrics in mundane and broad ways. Choose to measure yourself not as a rising star or an undiscovered genius. Choose to measure yourself not as some horrible victim or dismal failure. Instead, measure yourself by more mundane identities: a student, a partner, a friend, a creator.
The narrower and rarer the identity you choose for yourself, the more everything will seem to threaten you. For that reason, define yourself in the simplest and most ordinary ways possible.This often means giving up some grandiose ideas about yourself: that you’re uniquely intelligent, or spectacularly talented, or intimidatingly attractive, or especially victimized in ways other people could never imagine. This means giving up your sense of entitlement and your belief that you’re somehow owed something by this world.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“Don’t hope for a life without problems,” the panda said. “There’s no such thing. Instead, hope for a life full of good problems.” And”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“Being wrong opens us up to the possibility of change. Being wrong brings the opportunity for growth.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“Because when we give too many fucks, when we choose to give a fuck about everything, then we feel as though we are perpetually entitled to feel comfortable and happy at all times, that’s when life fucks us.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“Because here’s the thing that’s wrong with all of the “How to Be Happy” shit that’s been shared eight million times on Facebook in the past few years—here’s what nobody realizes about all of this crap: The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience. This is a total mind-fuck. So I’ll give you a minute to unpretzel your brain and maybe read that again: Wanting positive experience is a negative experience; accepting negative experience is a positive experience. It’s what the philosopher Alan Watts used to refer to as “the backwards law”—the idea that the more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become, as pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place. The”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“Not giving a fuck does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different. Let’s”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“If you’re stuck on a problem, don’t sit there and think about it; just start working on it. Even if you don’t know what you’re doing, the simple act of working on it will eventually cause the right ideas to show up in your head.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“Romeo and Juliet is synonymous with “romance” in our culture today. It is seen as the love story in English-speaking culture, an emotional ideal to live up to. Yet when you really get down to what happens in the story, these kids are absolutely out of their fucking minds. And they just killed themselves to prove it!”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“Decision-making based on emotional intuition, without the aid of reason to keep it in line, pretty much always sucks. You know who bases their entire lives on their emotions? Three-year-old kids. And dogs. You know what else three-year-olds and dogs do? Shit on the carpet.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“No matter where you go, there’s a five-hundred-pound load of shit waiting for you. And that’s perfectly fine. The point isn’t to get away from the shit. The point is to find the shit you enjoy dealing with.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“People get addicted to feeling offended all the time because it gives them a high; being self-righteous and morally superior feels good.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“It turns out that adversity and failure are actually useful and even necessary for developing strong-minded and successful adults.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“We are defined by what we choose to reject. And if we reject nothing we essentially have no identity at all”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“Everybody enjoys what feels good. Everyone wants to live a carefree, happy, and easy life, to fall in love and have amazing sex and relationships, to look perfect and make money and be popular and well-respected and admired and a total baller to the point that people part like the Red Sea when they walk into the room. Everybody wants that. It’s easy to want that. A more interesting question, a question that most people never consider, is, “What pain do you want in your life? What are you willing to struggle for?” Because that seems to be a greater determinant of how our lives turn out. For”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“The act of choosing a value for yourself requires rejecting alternative values. If I choose to make my marriage the most important part of my life, that means I’m (probably) choosing not to make cocaine-fueled hooker orgies an important part of my life. If I’m choosing to judge myself based on my ability to have open and accepting friendships, that means I’m rejecting trashing my friends behind their backs. These are all healthy decisions, yet they require rejection at every turn. The point is this: we all must give a fuck about something, in order to value something. And to value something, we must reject what is not that something. To value X, we must reject non-X. That”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“But a true and accurate measurement of one’s self-worth is how people feel about the negative aspects of themselves.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“If you think about a young child trying to learn to walk, that child will fall down and hurt itself hundreds of times. But at no point does that child ever stop and think, “Oh, I guess walking just isn’t for me. I’m not good at it.” Avoiding”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“We’re apes. We think we’re all sophisticated with our toaster ovens and designer footwear, but we’re just a bunch of finely ornamented apes.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“Essentially, we become more selective about the fucks we’re willing to give. This is something called maturity. It’s nice; you should try it sometime. Maturity is what happens when one learns to only give a fuck about what’s truly fuck-worthy. As Bunk Moreland said to his partner Detective McNulty in THE WIRE: “That’s what you get for giving a fuck when it wasn’t your turn to give a fuck.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“The ticket to emotional health, like that to physical health, comes from eating your veggies—that is, accepting the bland and mundane truths of life: truths such as “Your actions actually don’t matter that much in the grand scheme of things” and “The vast majority of your life will be boring and not noteworthy, and that’s okay.” This vegetable course will taste bad at first. Very bad. You will avoid accepting it. But once ingested, your body will wake up feeling more potent and more alive. After all, that constant pressure to be something amazing, to be the next big thing, will be lifted off your back. The stress and anxiety of always feeling inadequate and constantly needing to prove yourself will dissipate. And the knowledge and acceptance of your own mundane existence will actually free you to accomplish what you truly wish to accomplish, without judgment or lofty expectations. You”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“Our culture today is obsessively focused on unrealistically positive expectations: Be happier. Be healthier. Be the best, better than the rest. Be smarter, faster, richer, sexier, more popular, more productive, more envied, and more admired. Be perfect and amazing and crap out twelve-karat-gold nuggets before breakfast each morning while kissing your selfie-ready spouse and two and a half kids goodbye. Then fly your helicopter to your wonderfully fulfilling job, where you spend your days doing incredibly meaningful work that’s likely to save the planet one day. But”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“People get addicted to feeling offended all the time because it gives them a high; being self-righteous and morally superior feels good. As political cartoonist Tim Kreider put it in a New York Times op-ed: “Outrage is like a lot of other things that feel good but over time devour us from the inside out. And it’s even more insidious than most vices because we don’t even consciously acknowledge that it’s a pleasure.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“This, in a nutshell, is what “self-improvement” is really about: prioritizing better values, choosing better things to give a fuck about. Because when you give better fucks, you get better problems. And when you get better problems,”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“Commitment gives you freedom because you’re no longer distracted by the unimportant and frivolous. Commitment gives you freedom because it hones your attention and focus, directing them toward what is most efficient at making you healthy and happy. Commitment makes decision-making easier and removes any fear of missing out; knowing that what you already have is good enough, why would you ever stress about chasing more, more, more again? Commitment allows you to focus intently on a few highly important goals and achieve a greater degree of success than you otherwise would.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“We are so materially well off, yet so psychologically tormented in so many low-level and shallow ways. People relinquish all responsibility, demanding that society cater to their feelings and sensibilities. People hold on to arbitrary certainties and try to enforce them on others, often violently, in the name of some made-up righteous cause. People, high on a sense of false superiority, fall into inaction and lethargy for fear of trying something worthwhile and failing at it.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“the more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become, as pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place. The”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“We are responsible for experiences that aren’t our fault all the time. This is part of life.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“But the problem with entitlement is that it makes people need to feel good about themselves all the time, even at the expense of those around them. And because entitled people always need to feel good about themselves, they end up spending most of their time thinking about themselves. After all, it takes a lot of energy and work to convince yourself that your shit doesn’t stink, especially when you’ve actually been living in a toilet. Once”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“Happiness is a constant work-in-progress, because solving problems is a constant work-in-progress—the solutions to today’s problems will lay the foundation for tomorrow’s problems, and so on. True happiness occurs only when you find the problems you enjoy having and enjoy solving. Sometimes”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“Because here’s something that’s weird but true: we don’t actually know what a positive or negative experience is. Some of the most difficult and stressful moments of our lives also end up being the most formative and motivating. Some of the best and most gratifying experiences of our lives are also the most distracting and demotivating. Don’t trust your conception of positive/negative experiences. All that we know for certain is what hurts in the moment and what doesn’t. And that’s not worth much. Just”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“We can be truly successful only at something we’re willing to fail at. If we’re unwilling to fail, then we’re unwilling to succeed.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“Yet, in a bizarre, backwards way, death is the light by which the shadow of all of life’s meaning is measured. Without death, everything would feel inconsequential, all experience arbitrary, all metrics and values suddenly zero.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“I remember discussing this dynamic with my Russian teacher one day, and he had an interesting theory. Having lived under communism for so many generations, with little to no economic opportunity and caged by a culture of fear, Russian society found the most valuable currency to be trust. And to build trust you have to be honest. That means when things suck, you say so openly and without apology. People’s displays of unpleasant honesty were rewarded for the simple fact that they were necessary for survival—you had to know whom you could rely on and whom you couldn’t, and you needed to know quickly. But, in the “free” West, my Russian teacher continued, there existed an abundance of economic opportunity—so much economic opportunity that it became far more valuable to present yourself in a certain way, even if it was false, than to actually be that way. Trust lost its value. Appearances and salesmanship became more advantageous forms of expression. Knowing a lot of people superficially was more beneficial than knowing a few people closely. This is why it became the norm in Western cultures to smile and say polite things even when you don’t feel like it, to tell little white lies and agree with someone whom you don’t actually agree with. This is why people learn to pretend to be friends with people they don’t actually like, to buy things they don’t actually want. The economic system promotes such deception. The downside of this is that you never know, in the West, if you can completely trust the person you’re talking to. Sometimes this is the case even among good friends or family members. There is such pressure in the West to be likable that people often reconfigure their entire personality depending on the person they’re dealing with. Rejection”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“Sadly, to deny one’s negative emotions is to deny many of the feedback mechanisms that help a person solve problems.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“this is what’s so dangerous about a society that coddles itself more and more from the inevitable discomforts of life: we lose the benefits of experiencing healthy doses of pain, a loss that disconnects us from the reality of the world around us.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“I say don’t find yourself. I say never know who you are. Because that’s what keeps you striving and discovering. And it forces you to remain humble in your judgments and accepting of the differences in others.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“One of those realizations was this: that life itself is a form of suffering. The rich suffer because of their riches. The poor suffer because of their poverty. People without a family suffer because they have no family. People with a family suffer because of their family. People who pursue worldly pleasures suffer because of their worldly pleasures. People who abstain from worldly pleasures suffer because of their abstention.
This isn’t to say that all suffering is equal. Some suffering is certainly more painful than other suffering. But we all must suffer nonetheless.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“Like physical pain, our psychological pain is an indication of something out of equilibrium, some limitation that has been exceeded. And like our physical pain, our psychological pain is not necessarily always bad or even undesirable.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“We are actually often happier with less. When we’re overloaded with opportunities and options, we suffer from what psychologists refer to as the paradox of choice. Basically, the more options we’re given, the less satisfied we become with whatever we choose, because we’re aware of all the other options we’re potentially forfeiting.”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“We all love to take responsibility for success and happiness. Hell, we often fight over who gets to be responsible for success and happiness. But taking responsibility for our problems is far more important, because that’s where the real learning comes from. That’s where the real-life improvement comes from. To”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
“If pursuing the positive is a negative, then pursuing the negative generates the positive. The pain you pursue in the gym results in better all-around health and energy. The failures in business are what lead to a better understanding of what’s necessary to be successful. Being open with your insecurities paradoxically makes you more confident and charismatic around others. The pain of honest confrontation is what generates the greatest trust and respect in your relationships. Suffering through your fears and anxieties is what allows you to build courage and perseverance. Seriously,”
― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
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